Estaba tomando un descanso

Yes, I was taking a break. Trying to finish up my classes for my license, making presentations, doing interviews, and teaching full-time. So, not really taking a break after all, I guess...

So, here's where things stand since I last posted when I was afraid my Spanish was not improving at all. I was wrong. I'm definitely improving. Every week it's a bit easier. My thoughts flow out of my mouth without my thinking them in English at all. The kids are having to correct me less often. I can explain long things, or give long speeches about behavior, usually.

The kids are learning. I just finished assessing them for end-of-year district requirements. With a couple of exceptions, they are leaping levels in reading and writing. It's hard, hard work, but their behavior is coming along, too. Twice today, I walked down the hallway with them behind me and I didn't have to stop or say anything to anyone. Amazing.

Today, I had a phone interview with MMSD. It was a Spanish screener interview. Lasted for 20 minutes, was entirely in Spanish. Very similar to the ACTFL oral interview, but centered around education only. I did much better than I did on the ACTFL interview. I seemed to do best when I didn't try to think too hard about what I was saying.

We'll see what they have to say, maybe by next week. I really have no idea if they'll think my Spanish is good enough, or not.

This will be my last post. I am officially done with student teaching as of two days from now, when I present my focus project - the learning of the español - to the rest of the students.

Whew.

One more thing...

Oh, and as far as the language is concerned, I feel like I'm not learning anything. I have no time to think about my words, my construction, anything - because my attention is always so divided due to behavior. I think all that's happening, is that I am getting into bad habits b/c I never have time to process anything I am saying.
Grrrrr.

They got me.

Yup. Two weeks in to full-time, bilingual teaching, and they got me.
Since anyone is unlikely to ever read this, I'm just going to vent here for a bit.
This class sucks.
And knowing that they are universally recognized throughout the school as sucking doesn't really help when it's me that they are sucking dry.
There are 10 out of 15 kids in that room who need an eye (or two) on them at all times. It's just too much to keep under control. I'm trying to figure out what went wrong this week - but it's so many things, I can't choose just one or two.
There were 5 major schedule changing events this week. Not helpful.
The only reward they cared about this week was the candy. Stickers, stamps, notes home - bah.
Literally, shaking the candy bag to get their attention was the only thing to get results. They are like dogs!
Even hallway points to get the iTouches didn't really work. There's nowhere that I can walk and see the whole line at the same time because two thirds of it is crap!
So, so frustrated.
And the bickering was awful this week again.
I'm sure I let up a bit this week, and I guess that just shows me that I can't. I have to be mean teacher all the time. How exhausting.
And then, this week, of course, I was trying to actually TEACH more than last week, when I was so focused on behavior. Apparently, teaching is NOT ALLOWED by this group.
Yup.
They got me all right.

I PASSED!!!

I received an Advanced-Low on my written proficiency exam!! That is what I need to be able to be certified as a bilingual teacher. I am so pleased that all my hard work paid off, and that the advances I thought I was making were real.

So, now, on to the Oral Proficiency Exam. I plan to take this in June, right after school lets out. With all the Spanish I'm speaking during the days now in my first grade bilingual classroom, I figure then is my best chance of passing.

And speaking of my class, I just finished my first week teaching. There were two really rough days. One medium day, and two pretty easy days. I've accomplished a great deal with them as far as behavior and routines and expectations go. Yay! There is still much more to do, of course.

Interestingly, I think my Spanish has improved even within this week. The kids love correcting me, and I definitely noticed far fewer corrections at the end of the week. Also, while teaching, I have no time to think about how I want to say something. Occasionally, I can hesitate to mentally conjugate a tricky verb, but other than that, it's all pretty automatic. I was noticing longer, more fluid sentences on Thursday and Friday.

The thing that has most frustrated me this week, is not being able yet to use nuances while speaking - at all! There are things I could explain so, so much better in English than I can in Spanish, and it bothers me that I'm not able to teach as well as I could.

The Permanence of the Written Word

So, I took the Written Proficiency Test again. Took me two hours this time, instead of one. But, I think the essays were quite a bit better for it. Still awaiting results.
In other news, I started my long-term subbing in a bilingual first grade. Only one day in, and then Spring Break came. In that one day, I had to write a letter home to a couple of the girls' parents. They had tied their scarves together at recess and got trapped. The recess teachers ended up needing to cut the scarves apart to free the girls. So, as I'm writing this letter home, I'm freaking out. This is the first time I've ever had to write for a real purpose - to people who don't know that I'm still learning Spanish - and to people who, I'm assuming, expect me to be proficient. Yikes. I have little confidence in myself with this!
And now that I've planned for the week ahead - a full week of teaching - I'm freaking out again. I had to write a little "how to" story as a model for the kids, and I'm second guessing every other word I wrote.
I hope this is just a phase and that I gain confidence soon.

A New Journey Begins

So, it turned out that I was without a voice for 10 days. 10 days people! I couldn't talk to anyone outside of my family, and with them only in whispers. The only way I could communicate was through email. (Yes, I do not text yet.) Anyway, it made me appreciate the ability to write even more. And speaking of... I took my second Written Proficiency Exam in Spanish this past week. (Good thing it wasn't the Oral Exam!)
It will be a while before I find out my results, but I am very hopeful that I've improved the level that I needed to in order to "pass". I've been told it's very difficult to move up a level in 90 days - and they didn't want to let me try at only 85 days - so we'll see. I really see a difference in my writing, so I hope they do, too. I've gone from writing very simple text, saying only those things I am sure I know how to say, to writing everything in English first and then translating into Spanish (to try to break myself of the habit of thinking of things in such simple terms), to writing much more complex things directly in Spanish. I can go in and out of tenses now, and use a lot of connecting phrases so my writing is much more smooth - and I don't have to repeat myself as much because I know a lot more words now. We'll see...
The new adventure just begun yesterday is my long-term (through the end of the school year) subbing job at the girls' school - 1st grade bilingual. It's my first time ever teaching all day, every day in Spanish. My first time having my "own" class in 11 years. My first time working in this district. My first time as a full-time working mom. Whew. I'm really glad to have Spring Break coming this week, so I can plan, organize and clean the classroom, and wrap my head around all of this.
Wish me luck...

Where oh where has my little voice gone?

Yes, so, I have laryngitis. Badly. I've been completely without a voice for two and a half days now, with no signs of improvement.
I guess it's an interesting time to reflect on the power of language - since I've mostly been stuck without it. So, I can't teach without a voice (unless it's my own class who know me and know not to try any craziness on the voiceless teacher). I can't go anywhere and make myself understood. My daughter has had to order dinner for us at Culver's. I've been stuck in my house for days with no one to talk to - can't even call a friend. I have had to cancel any plans I had for the weekend, as they all involved talking with friends. I'll have to go to my new class tomorrow and introduce myself without speaking, and sit for three hours without participating.
Now, I know this will go away. It can't last more than a few more days (right?). And, I can completely understand everything going on around me, so that's good. Still, it's a good lesson in how frustrating and difficult life can be without a voice - whether due to illness or unfamiliarity with a language. The smallest tasks become daunting.
At least I've had a bunch of time to work on my Spanish. I've listened to hours worth of podcasts and written essays galore in the past two days.
I'm signed up to take the Written Proficiency Exam again next week. I really believe my written Spanish has improved greatly over the last three months. I'm going to pass this time!!